Starting again

This semester has been a very interesting one so far, both in the subject matter of my classes and in the less academic parts of school. Last spring did not leave me in a terribly good place emotionally, and the forced semester off this fall didn't help matters at all. Fighting clinical depression (as I have for years), I became convinced that I didn't belong at Mines, that I wasn't good enough and that I just didn't fit. So when I went back this spring, I decided I was going to try to work on that, in addition to my academics. Last spring I often came home between classes to take a nap or eat lunch; this time I built my schedule to not allow that. Last spring I hardly talked to anyone in or out of class; this time I began attending clubs and hanging out with people. Last spring I fought through my depression on my own; this time, I got a counselor the first week of classes and got on zoloft a week later. It has made this spring a very different experience than last.

It started slowly; I began hanging out at the bagel shop on campus, where the workers (who are not themselves students) befriended me almost immediately. They got me chatting with other people, too. Then I started attending the local chapter of the Society for Physics Students. When they asked for volunteers to go judge a science fair, I actually went-- last year I would not have done so. And it was a great time.

Now, spring break has passed, and I've got even more happening. I'm working on starting a group on campus, an affiliate of the Secular Student Alliance. I met with a board member (and current grad student) about it, exchanged emails, talked with a potential faculty adviser, and am working on figuring out the rules for advertising-- I've got the price for classified ads in the paper, I need to find out rules for posting fliers. I've never even been an officer in a club before (though I am thinking about running for secretary in the SPS), and here I am, getting ready to start one and run it, and doing pretty damned well. The fact that the SSA has an insane amount of support for affiliate groups helps, but that doesn't make me feel any less fantastic about how well this is all going.

And on top of that, while looking at the school newspaper's website, I saw that they said they were "always hiring staff writers" and that anyone interested should email. They probably don't pay much-- it doesn't say on the site-- but it's by the word, which means that it would be as much or as little as I thought I could handle. So I decided to send them an email. I mentioned a bit of my background, but I'm not sure I needed to have done so-- within a day I got a reply that they would love to have me on the team, and that I should come to a staff meeting on Monday.

What a difference from a year ago.